Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming “Wow, What a Ride!”

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

meal ideas - fruity cool downs

This time of the year is not my favorite--- I do not like HOT weather. Yes, I admit it- I am a penguin, I want it cold. When the weather doesn’t fit with my likes and dislikes I want something cold and refreshing to munch on; being diabetic that can sometimes be a challenge. HOWEVER... there are some treats you can make that will satisfy the need for sweet and cold, and stay healthy.  Three of my favorite- summer cool downs...

Watermelon-Berry Granita
Granita is a delicious, fat-free way to satisfy your sweet tooth on a hot summer day. This diabetic recipe is low in calories and loaded with antioxidants.

 3/4 cup water
 1/3 cup sugar or sugar substitute
 3 cups seeded watermelon cubes
 2 cups blueberries and/or halved strawberries

In a small saucepan, combine the water and sugar (if using); bring to boiling, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Boil gently, uncovered, for 2 minutes. Remove from heat; cool slightly. If using a sugar substitute, combine water and sugar substitute in a small bowl; stir to dissolve. Do not heat.

 Meanwhile, in a blender or large food processor, combine watermelon and berries. Cover and blend or process until nearly smooth. Add the sugar mixture; blend or process until smooth.

Transfer to a 3-quart rectangular baking dish. Cover and freeze about 2-1/2 hours or until almost solid.

 Remove mixture from freezer. Using a fork, break up the frozen mixture until almost smooth but not melted. Cover and freeze for 1 hour more.* Break up the frozen mixture with a fork and serve in paper cups or shallow bowls. Makes 10 (3/4-cup) servings.

Note  If mixture is frozen longer than the final hour, let it stand at room temperature about 20 minutes before breaking up mixture with a fork and serving.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving: 52 cal., 1 mg sodium, 13 g carb. (2 g fiber, 11 g sugars), Diabetic Exchanges Fruit (d.e): 0.5; Other Carb (d.e): 0.5;

Cherry-Apricot Freeze
This colorful frozen treat can be stored up to one month in the freezer. That means no wasted leftovers!
1 1/2 cups water
 1/4 cup sugar
 1 15 - ounce can pear halves (juice pack)
 1 15 - ounce can unpeeled apricot halves in light syrup, rinsed, drained and chopped
 1 6 - ounce can frozen pineapple juice concentrate, thawed (3/4 cup)
 3/4 cup water
 1/2 10 - ounce jar maraschino cherries, drained and halved

 In a medium saucepan combine 1 1/2 cups water and the sugar; bring to boiling, stirring occasionally to dissolve sugar. Boil, uncovered, 1 minute. Remove from heat.

Meanwhile, drain pears, reserving juice. Chop pears. Stir chopped pears, reserved pear juice and the remaining ingredients into the saucepan. Transfer mixture to a 2-quart freezer container. Cover and freeze for 8 hours or until firm, stirring occasionally to distribute fruit. Store in freezer up to 1 month.

To serve, let stand at room temperature about 1 hour. Scrape mixture into dessert dishes. Makes 12 (3/4-cup) servings.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving:  95 cal., 4 mg sodium, 24 g carb. (2 g fiber, 22 g sugars), 1 g pro. Diabetic Exchanges Other Carb (d.e): 1; Fruit (d.e): 0.5

Frosty Blackberry-Lemon Ice
Chill out with this fruity frozen treat. Eat with a spoon, or turn the lemon ice into a slushy drink by pouring club soda or sparkling water over a scoop in a glass.

1 cup water
 1/2 cup sugar
 4 cups fresh blackberries or frozen unsweetened blackberries
 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
 2 tablespoons finely shredded lemon peel

 In a medium saucepan combine water and sugar; bring to boiling, stirring frequently. Boil gently, uncovered, for 2 minutes. Remove from heat and cool slightly.
 In a blender or food processor combine blackberries, the warm syrup mixture, and lemon juice.

Cover and blend or process until almost smooth. Strain mixture through a fine mesh sieve, discarding seeds. Stir in 1 teaspoon of the lemon peel.

Transfer the mixture to a 3-quart rectangular baking dish or a 13x9x2-inch baking pan. Place in the freezer, uncovered, for 1-1/2 hours or until almost solid.

Remove berry ice from freezer. Using a fork, break up the ice into a somewhat smooth mixture. Freeze 1 hour more.* Break up the ice with a fork and serve in cups. Top each serving with remaining shreds of lemon peel. Makes 6 to 8 servings.

Note * If mixture remains in the freezer longer than the 1 additional hour, let it stand at room temperature about 20 minutes before breaking up mixture with a fork and serving.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving: 115 cal., 2 mg sodium, 29 g carb. (5 g fiber, 24 g sugars), 1 g pro.

Monday, July 27, 2015

be part of a greater moment

how do we change the world? 
one random act of kindness at a time... be part of the change

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Dr Jim- my favorite picture

May 2012~~ Jim resting after he just walked three mares from Saddle Mountain Paints Ranch to our Aspen Willow Ranch - 2.5 miles round trip = 7.5 miles total~ (the following years, he waited until I came out to help with the transfer)       photo caption~~ 

"being a criminal lawyer vs rancher? humm, let me think about that..."

the three ladies all happily grazing.

Dr. Jim

yesterday we said goodbye to our ranch neighbor and friend.

this is Jim and myself bringing Gladys and Babe to our ranch for their summer visit, 2014. Jim went from being a criminal defense attorney in Chicago, to working for the U.S. Olympic Team, to breeding beautiful paints and quarter-horses in the mountains of Colorado, His stories were fun and full of adventure, his life extraordinary. Dr. Jim you will be missed.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

meal ideas ~ beat the day with breakfast

Breakfast IS the best meal of the day- everyone who I know that always pass on eating breakfast and then later takes my challenge “to try it for 3 weeks and tell me how you feel differently” ... say, they felt a lot better throughout the day with more energy, and didn’t seem to snack and eat “the bad” foods as much during the rest of their day. It really is vital to your health and body, and it doesn’t have to be boring. 

Take a little extra time on those days you know are going to be hectic; you, your mind and body will thank you for it. The difference that you will feel by taking the time to get up a little bit earlier to have a healthy breakfast VS sleeping that extra fifteen minutes does not even compare- the benefits from breakfast will win out every time! here are a couple of favorite “special” breakfast ideas that I have on my weekends off work, or a day when both Steve and I are not working so we can sit and enjoy the meal as well as the company...and sometimes I just treat myself. And yes, they are diabetic friendly.

Maple-Apple Drenched French Toast
If you thought the words "drenched French toast" were gone for good, think again! This diabetes-friendly breakfast recipe gives you two slices of toast plus 1/3 cup of sweet topping for less than 230 calories and only 7 grams of fat per serving.

1 recipe Maple-Apple Topping (below)
1/2 cup refrigerated or frozen egg product, thawed, or 2 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup fat-free milk
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon or nutmeg
8 3/4-inch-thick slices whole grain baguette-style bread (6 ounces total)
Nonstick cooking spray
1/4 cup coarsely chopped pecans, toasted

 Prepare Maple-Apple Topping; set aside. In a shallow bowl whisk together egg, milk, vanilla, and cinnamon. Dip bread slices into egg mixture, turning to coat both sides (let soak in egg mixture about 1 minute per side).

Coat an unheated large nonstick skillet or griddle with cooking spray. Preheat over medium heat. Place bread on hot skillet or griddle; cook for 4 to 6 minutes or until golden brown, turning once. Divide bread slices among four serving plates. Spoon on Maple-Apple Topping and sprinkle with pecans. Makes 4 (2 slices toast and 1/3 cup topping each) servings.

Maple-Apple Topping
1 large red-skinned cooking apple, cored, quartered, and thinly sliced
2 tablespoons water
1/2 cup sugar-free or light pancake syrup

In a small saucepan combine cooking apple, and 2 tablespoons water. Bring to boiling over medium heat. Cover and cook for 2 to 3 minutes or until apple is just tender, stirring occasionally. Add pancake syrup or until slightly thickened and heated through.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving: 229 cal., 7 g total fat 1 mg chol., 251 mg sodium, 35 g carb. (7 g fiber, 10 g sugars), 11 g pro. Diabetic Exchanges Starch (d.e): 2; Lean Meat (d.e): 0.5; Fat (d.e): 1

Fruit-Filled Puff Pancakes
These puff pancakes deflate after baking to form a "bowl" just right for filling with fresh colorful fruit.

Nonstick cooking spray
1/4 cup refrigerated egg product, or 1 egg
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons fat-free milk
2 teaspoons cooking oil
Dash salt
1 tablespoon reduced-sugar orange marmalade
1 tablespoon orange juice or water
1 small banana, sliced
1/2 cup sliced fresh strawberries or fresh blueberries

 Preheat oven to 400 degree F. For pancakes, coat two 4-1/4-inch pie plates, 4-1/2-inch foil tart pans, or 10-ounce custard cups with nonstick spray. Set aside.

 In a medium bowl use a rotary beater or whisk to beat egg product or egg, flour, milk, oil, and salt until smooth. Divide batter among prepared pans. Bake in preheated oven for 25 minutes or until brown and puffy. Turn off oven; let stand in oven 5 minutes.

 Meanwhile, in a small bowl stir together marmalade and orange juice or water. Add banana and strawberries or blueberries; stir gently to coat. To serve, immediately after removing pancakes from oven, transfer to dinner plates. Spoon some of the fruit into center of each pancake. Makes 2 servings.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving: 163 cal., 5 g total fat (1 g sat. fat), 138 mg sodium, 26 g carb. (3 g fiber), 5 g pro. Diabetic Exchanges Fruit (d.e): 1; Fat (d.e): 1; Other Carb (d.e): 1

Raspberry Strudel Croissants
Make a lovely impression with delightful pastries that are a cinch to bake -- plus they're fat-free and only 35 calories per serving.

1/4 cup frozen red raspberries, thawed and drained, or fresh red raspberries
2 tablespoons low-sugar red raspberry preserves
1/4 teaspoon finely shredded lemon peel
4 sheets frozen phyllo dough (14x9-inch rectangles), thawed
Butter-flavor nonstick cooking spray
Powdered sugar and/or finely shredded lemon peel (optional)
Fresh raspberries (optional)

In a small bowl, combine the 1/4 cup raspberries, preserves, and the 1/4 teaspoon lemon peel. Using a potato masher or the back of a large spoon, mash berry mixture.

 Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper; set aside. Unfold phyllo dough; place one sheet of the dough on a clean flat surface. (As you work, cover the remaining phyllo dough with plastic wrap to prevent it from drying out.) Lightly coat phyllo sheet with nonstick cooking spray. Place another sheet of the phyllo dough on top of the first sheet; coat with nonstick cooking spray. Repeat layering with two more sheets, coating each with nonstick cooking spray. You should have a stack of four sheets. Using a pastry wheel or pizza cutter, cut an 8 1/2-inch circle in the dough (discard dough that is cut away to form the circle).

 Cut circle into six wedges. Spread the raspberry mixture atop wedges, leaving a 1/4-inch border around the raspberry layer. Starting at the wide end of each wedge, loosely roll toward the point. Place rolls, point sides down, 2 to 3 inches apart on the prepared baking sheet. Lightly coat filled croissants with nonstick cooking spray.
 Bake for 12 to 14 minutes or until pastry is golden brown. Transfer to a wire rack; let cool. If desired, sprinkle croissants with powdered sugar and/or additional lemon peel. If desired, garnish with additional fresh raspberries.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving: 35 cal., 30 mg sodium, 8 g carb. (2 g sugars), 1 g pro.

Diabetic Exchanges Other Carb (d.e): 0.5

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

beautiful owl

an amazing photograph of a screech owl by photographer- Brian Wilson 

     I'm preparing to go out to  the ranch in Colorado for three months, With that news, I apologize that the postings will be somewhat irregular. Once out there, I hope to get back into my normal posting schedule along with many exciting stories and adventures for myself and Samantha Kitty. --and yes, that is a real photograph of the owl- so awesome.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

healthy living ~ you are in your palm

I found a wonderful reference picture and what to do on a favorite sight of mine ~ 

Some days you may feel like you’ve got the whole world in the palm of your hands. That might be a little lofty, but it can be said that you have yourself in the palm of your hands. Certain pressure points on your hands can help relieve pain in other parts of the body.

It’s All in the Palm of Your Hand – Press These Points For Whenever You Hurt

 Here’s what to do:
  • Press the thumb point on the appropriate area of your hand for 5 seconds.
  • Release the thumb for 3 seconds.
  • Press again.
  • Repeat for several minutes.
  • Repeat several times a day.

Monday, July 13, 2015

the beauty of simply living

In a couple of weeks I’ll be going out to our ranch in Colorado for three months, I need to take care of some tasks. I was making my to-do lists and what I want to accomplish while out there and was surprised at the first thing I had on my list: Learn to slow down, relax, and enjoy the moment.  

This was an unconsciously written statement, I do that sometimes, but it spoke loudly when I was reading my list back to myself.  I had planned, consciously, to get out there and go like a “bat out of hell” and get everything I wanted like, yesterday...  and I realized that this has become a daily routine for most, speed through your day and life.

Throughout our lives, we are taught to value speed and getting things done quickly. We learn that doing is more valuable than merely being, and that making the most of life is a matter of forging ahead at a hurried pace. Yet as we lurch forward in search of some elusive sense of fulfillment, we find ourselves feeling increasingly harried and disconnected. More importantly, we fail to notice the simple beauty of living. When we learn to slow down, we rediscover the significance of seemingly inconsequential aspects of life. Mealtimes become meditative celebrations of nourishment. A job well-done becomes a source of profound pleasure, no matter what the nature of our labors. In essence, we give ourselves the gift of time—time to indulge our curiosity, to enjoy the moment, to appreciate worldly wonders, to sit and think, to connect with others, and to explore our inner landscapes more fully.

A life savored slowly need not be passive, inefficient, or slothful. Conducting ourselves at a slower pace enables us to be selective in how we spend our time and to fully appreciate each passing moment. Slowness can even be a boon in situations that seem to demand haste. When we pace ourselves for even a few moments as we address urgent matters, we can center ourselves before moving ahead with our plans. Embracing simplicity allows us to gradually purge from our lives those commitments and activities that do not benefit us in some way. The extra time we consequently gain can seem like vast, empty stretches of wasted potential. But as we learn to slow down, we soon realize that eliminating unnecessary rapidity from our experiences allows us to fill that time in a constructive, fulfilling, and agreeable way. We can relish our morning rituals, linger over quality time with loved ones, immerse ourselves wholeheartedly in our work, and take advantage of opportunities to nurture ourselves every single day.

I may find it challenging to avoid giving in to the temptation to rush, particularly since I have acclimated to a world of split-second communication, cell phones, email and overflowing agendas. Yet the sense of continuous accomplishment I may lose when I slow down I am sure will quickly be replaced by feelings of magnificent contentment. I am hoping that my relaxed tempo will open my mind and heart to deeper levels of awareness that help discover the true glory of being alive.

so, here is to my most important task for the next three months-
                                                         experience the beauty of simply living

why not join me and see if you can slow down as well?

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

meal ideas ~ craving blueberries?

I have been having a craving for blueberries these past couple of days and was looking around for some recipes that I could use instead of the samo-samo pancakes or plunking a pile on my cereal. Found a couple of lunch ideas, but also....dessert. I know if I were to ask you which you would like; it would most likely be dessert- spoons up. So, here are a few new to me ideas. Hope you enjoy. And, as always, they are healthy.

Almond Panna Cotta with Blueberry Sauce
Blueberries, orange juice, and amaretto are the flavorful stars of this refreshing gluten-free dessert. Enjoy the low-fat treat for just 168 calories and 25 grams of carb per serving.
1 envelope unflavored gelatin (2 1/2 teaspoons)
1/4 cup cold water
2 cups reduced-fat milk (2%)
3 tablespoons sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
4 teaspoons amaretto or several drops almond extract
1 cup frozen blueberries
2 tablespoons orange juice
1 tablespoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon vanilla

For panna cotta: In a small saucepan, sprinkle gelatin over the cold water. Let stand for 3 minutes to soften. Cook and stir over medium heat until gelatin is dissolved. Stir in milk, 3 tablespoons sugar and the salt. Cook and stir just until milk is heated through and sugar is dissolved. Stir in amaretto or almond extract. Pour into four 6-ounce custard cups. Cover and chill about 8 hours or until firm.

 For sauce: In another small saucepan, combine blueberries, orange juice, 1 tablespoon sugar, and the cornstarch. Cook and stir over medium heat until slightly thickened and bubbly. Cook and stir for 2 minutes more. Stir in vanilla. Transfer to a small bowl. Cover and chill until ready to serve.

 To serve, run a thin knife around the edge of each panna cotta; unmold onto individual plates; top with sauce. Makes 4 (1 panna cotta with 2-tablespoons sauce) servings.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving: 168 cal., 3 g total fat (2 g sat. fat), 10 mg chol., 137 mg sodium, 25 g carb. (1 g fiber, 23 g sugars), 10 g pro. Diabetic Exchanges Fat (d.e): 0.5; Other Carb (d.e): 1; Milk (d.e): 0.5

Blueberry Pudding
You only need six ingredients to whip up this comforting blueberry dessert recipe. We used cinnamon and ginger to spice up the low-fat pudding.

Nonstick cooking spray
3 cups reduced-fat milk (2 percent)
1/3 cup packed brown sugar*
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 cup white cornmeal
1 1/2 cups fresh blueberries

 Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. Lightly coat six 6-ounce ramekins or custard cups with nonstick cooking spray. Set ramekins in a shallow baking pan. Set aside.

 In large saucepan heat and stir milk, brown sugar, cinnamon, and ginger until sugar is dissolved. Slowly stir in cornmeal. Cook and stir over medium heat until bubbly. Reduce heat to medium-low; cook and stir 3 minutes more. Mixture will thicken.

 Spoon half of the cornmeal mixture evenly into prepared ramekins. Top with blueberries. Spoon remaining cornmeal mixture over blueberries. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes or until edges are bubbly. Cool on a wire rack 20 to 30 minutes. Serve warm. Makes 6 (about 3/4-cup) servings.

*Sugar Substitutes: I do not recommend sugar substitutes for this recipe.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving:  165 cal., 3 g total fat (2 g sat. fat), 10 mg chol., 58 mg sodium, 31 g carb. (2 g fiber, 22 g sugars), 5 g pro. Diabetic Exchanges  Fat (d.e): 0.5; Other Carb (d.e): 1.5; Milk (d.e): 0.5

Blueberry Crostini
Looking for a quick and easy blueberry snack? We topped toast with a sweet blueberry and ricotta cheese mixture, then sprinkled almonds on top for a six-ingredient treat with just 25 grams of carb per serving.

1/4 cup light ricotta cheese
1 tablespoon honey
1/2 teaspoon finely shredded lemon peel
3/4 cup fresh blueberries, coarsely chopped
4 slices whole grain bread, toasted
1/4 cup sliced almonds, toasted

 In a small bowl combine ricotta cheese, honey, and lemon peel. Stir in coarsely chopped blueberries. Cut bread slices diagonally into four pieces.
 Divide blueberry mixture among bread pieces. Sprinkle with toasted almonds.

Nutrition Facts Per Serving: 170 cal., 5 g total fat (1 g sat. fat), 4 mg chol., 124 mg sodium, 25 g carb. (5 g fiber, 9 g sugars), 8 g pro. Diabetic Exchanges Starch (d.e): 1.5; Medium-Fat Meat (d.e): 0.5;

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

healthy living ~ 5 lifesaving items


These are simple items, ones that I really don’t have to explain to much about because you most likely already know all about the their health benefits.... however, since I came across this listing recently, I decided it was a great opportunity to remind everyone, as I also need fairly regularly.

1) Apples – Apples are the base for an amazing healing agent. They can be turned into so many different things, one of which being apple cider vinegar.

This drink is so magical, we wrote a few different articles on it’s variety of uses. A raw apple can help with allergies, liver cancer, hair loss, and a few different infections! Eating an apple a day truly does keep the doctor away.

 2) Sunlight – Sunlight is so important for us. It’s the light that keeps everything going – without it, this planet would not survive. It possesses energy which stores it’s own information in it! As we absorb sunlight, we soak up the energy and it literally acts as a kind of food for us. It’s like we are all walking solar panels.

Not only does the sun produce vitamin D, but it regulates over 2,000 of our bodies genes! Although too much sun can result in some unwanted problems, the exposure to sunlight can still help with certain cancers. It’s also known to greatly help mental illnesses like depression.

3) Honey – This is only counting pure, organic honey. Bee’s produce a wide range of healing materials that can be used for an assortment of things. From bee venom, royal jelly, beeswax and bee pollen, these little bugs produce a lot for our world.

It’s not just sweet tasting but is used for Aspirin-Induced Gastrointestinal Toxicity; as honey coats your stomach lining. It’s also good for infections, burns, dermatitis and so much more!

4) Turmeric - One of the most importantly powerful herbs, Turmeric is nick named ‘The Golden Goddess” for good reason. Used in ancient Indian healing traditions, the healing properties of this herb are able to shrink down the tumors of certain cancers including Colorectal, Breast and Colon cancer! It also repairs our DNA, soothes inflammation and literally relieves stress.

Turmeric has documented to have over a staggering 500 different usages in preventing diseases! It’s truly one of a kind and we must treat it as the medicine it is.

5) Garlic –Ah yes, the universal infection fighter. Garlic has been used for centuries with the knowledge of it’s true healing properties. Eating these raw is no treat, but the health properties garlic holds is astounding.

This spice has an amazing amount of beneficial properties, over a few hundred of them! Garlic’s power is so immense that it’s able to kill some cases of tuberculosis. An article was published in a peer-reviewed scientific journal that shows the garlic was able to inhibit multiple tuberculosis strains that were resistant to other drugs.
When we can combine different mixtures of holistic ingredients and regulate our bodies properly with them, then we can live at our optimal health!

Monday, July 6, 2015

july's advice from a .... wise soul

I was going to do my standard first of the month "Advice from a- something" posting then I happened upon this and knew it is the perfect inspiring advice for this month. 

         So here is July's Advice from ....   
        buddhist wisdom

1. Live a life filled with compassion and positive action.
Buddha wasn’t the only religious leader who wanted you to be compassion – you can find that teaching in others like Jesus Christ and Mohammed. It isn’t just beneficial to the world, it’s beneficial to your own spirit too. Compassion is critical to finding peace within yourself and taking care of yourself. And it may sound a little bit corny, but we all do better when we all do better.

2. Pay attention.
It annoys me to hear people to prattle on about “waking up” because it’s usually said in such a condescending way, but there is some validity to the idea of seeing the world for what it truly is. It requires mindfulness, that is paying attention to the little things around you. Many people don’t ever learn how to do that. So wake up, live mindfully, pay attention – whatever you want to call it. Just do it.

3. Be the change.
You may think it’s an overused and maybe even cliche quote but there’s a reason you hear it all the time: it’s among the most powerful of human thoughts. If you want to see a more peaceful world, be peaceful. If you want to see a healthier environment, plant trees. Whatever you want to see in life, do it.

4. Embrace your death.
Death has become so taboo in the west. It’s gotten to the point where we tell people who are dying of cruel, painful diseases that they are legally not allowed to end their lives comfortably. Being so freaked out about death doesn’t enrich our lives. Moreover, in the West we’re taught to plan for a future that isn’t even promised to us instead of paying close attention to the moment we’re in right now. If we ignore the end of our lives, we can’t ever be happy.

5. What you eat is important.
What does food have to do with Buddhism? Buddhists understand that food plays such an important role in your life, and that when you have a relationship with it, we can transform our lives. Think hard about what you eat, where it’s been, and how it got to your plate.

6. Relieve yourself of the “three poisons.
Buddhists believe that there are three poisons that lead you to negativity. They are:
These three things are responsible for most of our unhappiness. If you experience any of them, take a deep breath and think hard about them. Consider your desire for money or your hate for an ex that treated you poorly. Does it get you anywhere? How can you work yourself out of it?